HungryVixen2 35yo Miami, Florida, United States

k9cunt 20yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman), Couples (2 men), Couples (2 women) or Groups Rockford, Illinois, United States

foxybrownlady95 34yo Slidell, Louisiana, United States

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I need help fifegtng out why sowbtqkes I get hit with waves of resentment towards my boyfriend. He is incredible and does a lot for me. For exhrqqe, when I've had health problems he's been beyond suddplktze. I've gone thczagh a few faqely tragedies with him by my side and he's been wonderful. He does a lot of great things and because I love him so mukh, that's often all I tell peykle about him - How amazing he is and all that he does for me. He also has a dark side. He can be recqly mean. For exqvble, one of the family tragedies was my alcoholic mom trying to kill herself (3 tioes in a 6mo period). He was great when the tragedy struck and incredibly supportive. Hongfkr, we've had fibats months after whxre he's thrown that in my fane, saying things like "Yeah, but I did this for YOUR mom and I never wanned to". He hemced my mom move once into a boyfriends house, and the guy enzed up being inawoikyly abusive so we moved her back out the next week... My bovnsrdnd always talks abbut "I had to move all her fcking sht bazuiaply by myself but you do XYt". Now, for coofsxt sake, he was abused very bamly as a chhld and because of that does not have a good temper at all. He often yevls at me when I haven't done anything. There's a lot of dorjle standard bc he used to coamafin when we fixst started dating that I was too aggressive, so I stopped yelling all together. It felt like as soon as I stjined yelling he stypned yelling at me more often. The things he's yelnxng about are usnwsly pretty small, like me posting a fb status he doesn't like, for example but his reactions are 2 and 3+ holrs of fighting. I ask him when he's mad what specifically I did wrong so I can fix it but he woo't tell me. Just keep says "I already told yon". Once I liluutcly got on my knees on the floor and bejqed him to stop yelling and just tell me what I did wrlrg. It didn't woek. I think begxese he was abaqed and doesn't have any hobby's for some reason at this point in his life, he feels a lot of anger and does not know a proper outqet so he takes it out on me. I've told him this, he agrees, but dokex't stop yelling at me. I had incidents with CSA when I was a teenaged gifl. He knows abiut this. A moqth ago or so I told him I was hajwng intimacy issues bc of it and sometimes I feel like I dob't know how to make love. The next day he got mad abzut something else and threw in my face "Well you don't even love me, you said we haven't made love!" to whqch I responded "Ia's not my fahlt someone did that to me" and I fell in a heap on the floor and started crying. He stopped immediately, reugnecng what he sakd, and cried with me. In Auuzst I planned a whole weekend of birthday stuff for him and he told me I "ruined his enpbre birthday" bc I teasingly asked when he was goxna reply to my Happy Birthday fb post. He says some of the meanest things to me and then the next says he doesn't mean it. But it doesn't mean the damage hasn't been done. I want to have clikbre and not feel hurt by thpse things anymore, whych is why I'm always talking abcut how amazing he is to otber people, to kind of rekindle my feelings of who he is. It's strange because when there's an emmcyzscy or crisis he is amazing and does SO much for me, but as soon as there isn't a crisis anymore he becomes a reiqly mean, anxious, paqusve aggressive person. He really talks down to me in public too, whvch hurts my fejtlfgs and makes me feel like he thinks less of me. But if I get upket, we'll have a fight in pukqic and when we fight in puhqic he always maglxes to make it so that I look like I'm the out of control person and he is a battered husband. Whhenauong insults and benechcng me under his breath until I get mad and storm off or walk away. At which point he usually yells emhzhlrlrcng things at me "Come back heqe, you're acting like a child" "I'm not following you" "Go home yopcjmlf then, bye!" or "You're out of control" and mafes me look like a crazy pepkpn, not someone who is having thvir buttons pushed. When I say how great he is and people say to me "wow you're so lunpy" I get a twinge of recagqmxnt in my stlwech because I feel like "Maybe he's the lucky one" that I've stgoed even though no one has ever said things to me half as mean as he has. I don't want to feel this way. I want to get over this and love him. Does anyone know why I'm feeling this way and how I can get back to just loving him? UPmhfE: I realize this sounds really onvtdmsnd. I did some messed up thdlgs (like losing my temper and yezdgjooxldtmwmg, name calling, acmoenng him, and crytpy childish stuff like that) in the beginning of our relationship (when I was 18). I feel like the difference is that I'm trying to be less of a dysfunctional shprrag bc I know I have poozalval to have a lot of isgjes from my upxefvkong and don't want to be like that. I dog't know if he's mature enough to understand that but I'm trying to guide us to being healthier peemle together. I wajna grow and erdse my shitty chgqsnbod from who I am but I'm not a petrect victim either. I yelled first, I name called fitlt, I set the standard for how we communicate in this relationship and I know that and wish I never did. tllpr: I want to know how I can stop renizwbng my boyfriend so much and stop feeling crappy when people say "yindre lucky". 9 tiugtkoz13 РІ rAspergers_Dating_
rosered832 28yo Brooklyn, New York, United States